Life is a Miracle, As Witnessed by Professor Bergstrom

Feature Story: Professor Melissa Bergstrom
Carissa Parker
October 28, 2009

What is your definition of a miracle? For Professor Melissa Bergstrom, life is a miracle, no matter how short it is. Bergstrom, who’s been teaching music and choir and Anoka-Ramsey Community College for seven years, lost her 2-year-old son, Ellis, to a heart defect. “We had a grieving period,” Bergstrom says of her and husband, “Last fall we decided to try for another baby. It was two years until we were ready to bring another life into the world.” And it was four months ago that Finnian Bergstrom was born.

Ellis, their first son, was born in March 2004. Although Bergstrom had a health pregnancy and delivery, there were complications after birth. In Ellis’ first 24 hours of life, his health deteriorated quickly. He had a high fever and rapid heart rate. The doctor’s prognosis was that he wouldn’t live through the night. After a week of Ellis’ fighting for his life, the doctor’s said he wouldn’t live through the month, but he did. The first several months of Ellis’ life were spent in the hospital; he had three surgeries within his first three months of life.

On July 3, 2004 the doctor’s informed the Bergstrom’s that their baby had only a few more hours to live. “So we’ll hug and hold him and be with him,” Bergstrom said to the doctor’s. They stayed up with him all through the night, holding him. “I guess that’s what he needed,” Bergstrom said, “because miraculously he got better overnight. It was literally overnight.” By the end of July, the Bergstrom’s were able to take their baby boy home for the first time.

Two years passed, and Ellis was doing well. Bergstrom said that even as a two year old, he had such a personality. “He loved music so much,” she said, which reflected upon both his parents professions as music teachers. Bergstrom said, “He would always dance to happy music and cry when sad sounding music played; songs like Ava Maria made him cry!” She laughed as she recalled the memories.

Bergstrom said that although he was growing at a normal rate and all seemed well, his heart was still unstable. His small heart couldn’t handle his rapidly growing body. The doctors told the Bergstrom’s that what Ellis really needed was a transplant, so he was placed on the transplant list. He received a heart transplant in July 2006, but the surgery didn’t go as smoothly as the Bergstrom’s would have hoped. He was in the hospital until October.

After only five weeks of being home from the hospital, Bergstrom said she had a “motherly intuition” one day that something wasn’t right. “It was literally one day he was fine, and one day I knew something was wrong,” Bergstrom said. Bergstrom brought him to the hospital and he was admitted later that day. His body had rejected the new heart from the transplant. Once he was in the hospital, he lost consciousness. He lived on a ventilator for three weeks and passed away December 4, 2006.

“There were huge highs, and long periods of wonderful times and really absolute miracles. And tragic lows and losing him was the hardest thing ever. You hold on when he needs to be held on to, and you let go when you have to,” Bergstrom said of Ellis. “The doctors always said, ‘it would have been easier if Ellis had died the first day, and you wouldn’t have gotten so attached to him,’” Bergstrom said, “But Ellis was who he was, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. I am so thankful we had two and a half years with him. He got two and a half years to live, and that was a miracle in my book.”

The Bergstrom’s have also recently been a part of another miracle in their lives, their now four month old baby, Finnian. Bergstrom said it’s been wonderful having a baby around again, but at times she gets wistful, “I find myself saying, ‘Oh Ellis used to do that!’” She exclaimed. “But we get to have more memories,” she said of having Finnian now, “It’s so amazing to me,” she said, “babies love you so much; you just glow when you have a kid in your life!”

Amanda Mclain, a student of Bergstrom’s, said she had known Ellis during his life, and had a special relationship with the Bergstrom’s. Mclain said, “When I found out they were having another baby, I was so excited! Nobody deserved that more than they did.”

Bergstrom said the most amazing miracle is that they now have a piece of Ellis in their son Finn. “After he began to lose his baby hair,” Bergstrom said, “My husband noticed he had a birthmark on the back on his head.” They originally thought it was neat, but of no special significance, until about a week later, “Sam said ‘You’ll never believe what his birthmark is!’” Bergstrom shared with a hint of a smile in her voice, “And on the back on his head, his birthmark is a perfect capitol letter ‘E’.”

“That sent me to the moon,” Bergstrom said, “It was the strangest thing. When people see it, their jaws drop and there are tears.”

The Bergstrom’s had to rearrange their teaching schedule to accommodate their newest family member, “We often end up working many evenings and weekends,” Bergstrom said, “but it’s worth it to be with Finn.”

Bergstrom has started to teach more online classes, and a hybrid class which is a mix of online and classroom.

Bergstrom also said she plans to continue working at Anoka-Ramsey Community College for many more years. “When I interviewed for the job at Anoka-Ramsey I told them,’ I think this might be my dream job,’” Bergstrom said, “and I think it still is.”